Paradise
by Flirtingwithdeath586
Summary: "You left me years ago and I died. But then Tim came and he changed my world, give me something so precious. Now you want me back, well guess what? You can't! I won't be hurt anymore, especially not by you." Seven years after New moon Bella's back.
1. Chapter 1

The smell of dust engulfed my senses, as Bella walked the road down the jail. She was free. Free from the nightmares of the day Victoria killed Charlie, free of the days Jake turned his back on her. Jail was such a bitter place, filled with sorrow and misery, anger and hate. Such emotions flowed through the whole atmosphere, along with the screams of pain and anger. She was happy to get out of that place; thanked god with her many prayers , in fact.

She waited near the dirt covered road, her hands shoved in her old worn out jeans. The shoe laces of her shoes were gone, taken away on the first day she entered that hell hole. The bus was coming soon, and she hoped fast . She hoped to get away from this place, and never come back.

Luckily, the bus came right on time, and she was getting away from this place soon. She walked down the aisle of the hot musty bus and sat in the far back, away from prying eyes. The ride was long, full of bumps and swerves, throwing her off balance once or twice. The sky here was, cloudy and a film of grey dust. Nothing reminded her of the green areas of Forks, of endless land and trees, and the cool breezes.

The bus ride was long and smelly. Bella knew when she got home she would have to ask Martha to run a hot bath for her. Hadn't had one of those in so long, just the cold short showers next to a hooker called Star. She ached to be in a comfy bed with fresh linen sheets that had just came out of the wash, smelling like roses and sugar. The wooden floors would be wiped off and the kitchen smelling of Martha's home baked cookies.

The house was the only thing that Bella felt truly belonged to her anymore. Everything was haunted by forbidden memories she would never go into. Bella looked outside only to see the lush green hills of Forks Washington. Not many things had changed in the seven years that she had been gone but then not many things had changed in the last sixty years.

The bus came to an abrupt halt in front of the Newton's shop, something Bella wasn't looking forward to. Mike's family were better known as the blabber mouths of the town, always gossiping every chance they got. And now they had a new addition to the family- Jessica Stanley, and her two bratty ass kids. The last time she saw them they were two years old and already giving out attitudes.

Angela and Ben had gone their separate ways some years ago, having different dreams. Angela was now the best selling author of the book, "Lost in A Crowd". And Ben, he became a photographer and traveled the world with his wife and two girls. Tyler and Lauren eventually got married and had two kids, but two years ago they got a divorce and Lauren is now marrying some rich doctor.

Jake ended up imprinting on a sweet girl named Penny. They now had one kid and were on some sort of vacation in the Bahamas. The rest of the pack.. Well Paul and Jacobs sister Rebecca got married and had three kids. One of their kids Janis died of cancer at the age of three; Rebecca still can't get over it. Embry lived in a rehab center after going on drugs a couple of years ago, when his imprint Sarah died in a car accident. Sam and Emily still lived in their little cottage with their four kids. Leah ended up not imprinting at all, and left the pack at the same time Bella went to jail. She said that she couldn't handle the pain anymore. Just seeing Emily and Sam with their kids ate out her heart. She now lived in a small village on the coast of Greece. And Seth was teaching at one of the local LaPush schools. Charlie, still lived in their old house, along with Sue Clearwater.

Bella walked down the familiar streets, with a smile on her face. Aries's Boutique shop was still up and standing. Renee had dragged Charlie there so many times when they were still together, bright eyed and young. So full of joy. Now she mopes around at home, mourning the loss of Phil. He died of lung cancer a year ago, taking everyone by surprise, since no one knew Phil had smoked in the first place.

Bella found herself in Forks cemetery, and choked on a sob. She had never meant to come here. Why had she come her? All it would do was bring her pain and anguish. But her feet moved on their own accord, bringing her to a headstone. _Abra Swan Jackson, born August 4, 2006- September 18 2009. Beloved Daughter. "She will always have a place in our hearts"._ Bella felt a tear slip down her cheek, but never bothered to wipe it. Next to that stone was another. _Timothy Dan Jackson, born January 2, 1987- September 18 2009. Beloved Son, Husband, and father. May his soul rest in peace._

Memories flooded Bella's head. And they hurt.

Bella being twirled in the air by a blond headed stranger. Her head was thrown back in happiness, you wouldn't have thought this girl had been heart broken only months ago. He kissed her mouth in pure tenderness and she melted against his broad chest.

Another memory of her holding a child to her breast, smiling as she saw the blond headed man wink at her. He picked the little baby girl out of her hands and cooed, "My little Abra, you are the light of our lives. Look at your beautiful self". He sighed, " You look just like your mother. Such an innocent face". Bella smiled at the man, her eyes shining with love.

And another came. She was clutching the child to her breast, crawling away from the man coming towards her. Her husband lay on the ground, blood spewing from his head. His body lay lifeless on the ground, eyes open in wide surprise. She whispered soothing things to her distressed baby, as the man came closer. "I've been watching you my dear", he whispered. "I watch you sleep and eat. I watch you and your husband sometimes making love, and imagine me there instead of him". She felt sick a dizzy, but she would protect her baby.

"Get away from me", she screamed. "Please just leave me and my baby alone", she pleaded. But he didn't listen.

"That should be our baby", he screeched, eyes wild. "That should be my baby, not his", he spat. Coming closer he ripped Abra out of Bella's arms. She fought him with all her might but he simply knocked her over with a blow of his fist. He held her baby and glared and her, "I've loved you as long as I can remember. When you first came to Forks, I knew you were the one, but you ended up with that Cullen. And After he was gone I was sure I had my chance, that you would love me. But then the Jackson's came to town and you fell in love with their oldest son, Tim. I saw how you smiled at me, tempted me, played with my emotions.", he yelled at her and shook Abra.

"Please", she pleaded with him, "let me have my baby".

"Why, so you can just rub it in my face", He screamed. Bella shook her head, she had never met him before, and if she did she didn't remember. Her baby was shrieking and Bella sobbed for him to just stop. "No", he growled, "let's see how you cope, as you see everything you love. Everything you cherish be gone in a flash", and with that he dropped her baby. It was like a movie, the scene going in slow motion. When baby heard the snap of her baby's neck, she lost herself. It was as if she had no soul, and there was only a body.

The man ran away, like the cowered he was. The police found her, laying on the ground eyes just as lifeless as her dead husband. No one could find the man who had done this to her family, no one but Bella.

She found him in an old warehouse, laying drunk in the corner. She didn't care what she did anymore, as long as that sick bastard was dead she wouldn't care. He made a grab for her but she punched him in the face, not caring for the pain it brought to her hand. Going in her purse she found the gun, Tim had gave her for protection. He wouldn't want her to do this, but she needed to. He hurt her so much for taking away her family.

"So you've come for me huh, girly. Couldn't resist this handsome face", he slurred. She snarled at him and brought the gun up, smiling when she saw the fright in his black eyes. "Rot in hell you bastard. I hope that you burn in the fires of Hades and hurt as much as I am. You took away everything I loved and now I'll take away your life. The one thing you cherish most, you motherfucker", and with that Bella pulled the trigger. She saw his eyes go wide in surprise and saw the blood seeping though his white t-shirt.

The police had found her later, and then to the dead body in front of her. She didn't fight as they cuffed her, only nodded in acceptance. She had killed someone, and although everyone knew she had every reason to, they still had no choice. Tim would be disappointed, but at that moment she didn't care. She just wanted to be with her baby and husband. It hurt to know that the man who had saved her from heartbreak and cared for her when everyone else had given up.

"I love you", she whispered to the gray cloudy sky.

Bella was brought back to the present when she saw a tiny elder woman put a hand on her shoulder. Martha. The woman had taken care of Abra when Bella and Tim were at work, and she too held the same pain Bella did. "Charlie told me you got back", she whispered to Bella. "Mike Newton said he saw you walk this way. Why do you come here Bella if it hurts you so much."

Bella looked at the woman who was like a mother to her, "Because it lets me know that they were once alive. That I didn't dream of that miracle of a baby. Or that sweet loving husband. It lets me know that I wasn't alone once", she cried. But it hurt, just like Martha said, so much. She would do anything to get them back.

**Ok so the Cullens will come in the story later, but in the mean time while I write this, check out my other story "lost in found". Summary:**

**Edward left Bella, the day the were to be married, giving his cold black heart to another. Bella is turned by Victoria, and decides to join the Volturi, knowing that she will never be able to live the same asks them for death. But will she get love instead?**


	2. Chapter 2

Bella sighed in relief as she lay in her tub, the bubbles almost engulfing her body. Her curls were pinned in a messy bun on top of her head, a few tendrils coming loose. She bent her head back and stretched feeling the knots in her shoulders dissolve. She had craved a hot shower for years, to feel the bubbles against her soft skin and smell the sweet aroma of strawberries.

After an hour or so she got out the now cold water and wrapped a towel around herself. Going out the bathroom she smelled the mouth watering scent of roasted chicken and pie. It was her favorite, and she never got tired of eating it. She looked around her house and sighed. She had bought this house for Martha when Tim and Abra were alive, but Martha now lived with her daughter who was with child. So Martha, being the kind woman she was, gave Bella back everything knowing that her old house held too much pain. Her house still remained empty, and the property still hers but she didn't step a foot there in seven years.

Going through her closet she pulled on black tights and a big t- shirt. There was no need to impress anyone. Putting on her grey Uggs and slipping on her old battered up jacket, she went downstairs. Martha had set up a table outside so that they both could enjoy the nice breeze and terrific view of the mountains.

The house stood in the forest, and Bella like it that way. She was isolated here and no one could bother or pity her. She knew what they said behind her back, knew that even though seven years had passed they still talked about it. Some called her crazy, others said she did the right thing but she knew that no matter what she would have done nothing would have changed. Abra and Tim would never come back to her. The pain would never go away.

She thanked Martha for the food, her smile all but forced.

Martha saw the pain in Bella's eyes, had experienced the same kind before, losing a child and husband in a dreadful car crash some years ago. Sighing she went to get her coat from the wooden rack She could still remember the bright smile on Tim's face as he brought Abra home from the hospital. She was such a beautiful baby with her fathers blue eyes and mother curling brown hair. A dimple winked on each of her rosy cheeks. When she had died, Martha remembered, Bella was cationic. She didn't want to eat, speak, or even walk. She only would sleep, and sometimes cry. The pain was too much for her. And Martha hated the man who had caused her all of her sufferings.

Going back outside and giving Bella a small sad smile she said,"Good night Bella",and kissed the her head, only to not get a response. Sighing she grabbed her things and left the house in silence. Bella looked at her walls. They were so bear, not a picture that would hurt her in any way. All of that was left in the old house. She couldn't bear to look at their faces anymore than she could bear to look at hers anymore. Not feeling hungry anymore Bella threw away the remaining of her food and went to the living room.

She settled herself on the red couch and propped her feet on the arm. She used to prop her feet on Tim's lap and Abra would lay on her stomach. And later, when abra was asleep, they would both tuck the baby away and kiss her goodnight. Clutching her stomach tightly she sobbed. Anyone could see she was unhappy, and miserable. At times she just wished to die. She knew the notion sounded stupid, but what was life worth living if you couldn't spend it with the ones you loved. She had been hurt so many time, by the Cullens, by Jake, and then when that man killed her family.

Funny she didn't know his name. She didn't know the name of the man who had killed her family and of who she had killed.

Sometimes she wondered how his family felt about her. She hated him with all her heart, so didn't they hate her too. She had killed their family, she had taken away a life, someone they cherished. She hated herself for that. She hated herself for killing someone's child, father, or sibling. She didn't have to, but she did. Even if he killed her loved ones she didn't have to kill him. She knew this.

Shaking her head, she closed her eyes and let her brain rest for a while. It was better for her to just leave the past and look on to the future. But she couldn't. Before she even knew it she was asleep.

Bella woke up to the sun shining upon her face. Her neck was stiff and her joints aching from sleeping in the wrong position. She rubbed her eyes and let out an unlady like yawn. She went into her room and threw on some clothes, too tired to really care if she looked good or not. She grabbed her keys, on the way out of the house, and locked the door. She always remembered to lock the top and bottom, the check if all the windows were closed. She could no longer feel safe...anywhere. She always felt as if someone was watching her from the shadows.

Bella got into her Blue Mustang and sped off towards town. She used to have a black Lincoln, but it was Tim's and he loved it to death. Driving it would only remind her of him and bring the pain. As she passed the tall trees and the forest she wondered how her life would be if Tim and Abra would not have died. Her baby would have been seven almost eight and Tim would be twenty six and looking handsome as ever. They would probably have more kids by now... maybe even the boy she had always wanted. She shook her thoughts away chastening herself for thinking such foolish things. They were gone and no matter how much she dreamed, nothing would go back to being the same.

As she pulled up into the driveway of the diner, she felt the many stares on her face. She saw Jessica Stanley Newton and her annoying kids just three cars away from her. They were about nine now and still as bratty as ever. Abra, she knew, would never have turn out like them. Jessica smiled and waved, almost friendly but not quite. Bella just nodded her greeting.

When she went inside, everything seemed to quiet down and everyone seemed to be looking in her direction. Such nosy people they were but Bella didn't care to speak her thoughts aloud. Some smiled at her, others avoided her eyes but only one dared talk to her. And that was Lauren Mallory or should we say Lauren Taylor. Her doctor of a husband stood behind her, looking nervously towards his wife. He must have known what a big mouth she was.

"Well if it isn't the killer bitch", she spat, "how was jail. Hope you suffered.". Everyone gasped like some soap opera and Bella chuckled. Turning around she met the plastic face of Lauren and smiled sweetly. As she took a step towards the bitch, the girl just took a step back. "If you're going to say something, than I sedgiest you know the consequences", Bella snarled. Bringing her hand back and then bringing it forward Bella broke the fake blonds nose.

Before she could do anything else a cold hand stopped her. She knew that touch all to well. The touch was suppose to comfort her, to sooth her. Little did the person know it riled her up. So they were back. She not only had to deal with her grief but she had to deal with this man, "Hello Carlisle... it's been a while", turning around she smiled cooly at the handsome man. All traces of anger or hurt were off her face. Number one rule is Bella Swans book: "Never show the enemy your weaknesses".


	3. Chapter 3

Carlisle looked down at two lovely brown eyes. They stared up at his gold ones with a coolness and aloofness. He stared at her in shock. The girl he had once called a daughter had grown into a beautiful young woman, but he could see the pain under her facade. He smiled down gently at her face, but she scowled. He knew he deserved it, for leaving her and hurting her. They all had, and he could see that listening to Edward was very wrong of them.

Esme had been devastated when they left, saying that she didn't want to loose anymore children. Bella had gave her back a piece of humanity, and made her feel alive again. She had lost a child when she was human, and she just couldn't bear losing one again, not when she had taken a place in her whole families hearts. Carlisle had watched his wife cry endlessly, had watched her looking at him with distant eyes. She told him she no longer felt any love for him, that the only thing that had kept them together all these years was their family. And now that it was torn apart she herself was going to leave. He remembered the excruciating pain, like everything had happened yesterday. He wondered if Bella had suffered the same kind of pain?

Looking down at her worn face he sense that she had."Hello Bella", he greeted warmly, waiting for some flicker of emotion to show on her face. The crowd around them closed in trying to hear a speck of conversation so they could gossip.

Bella felt a tug at her heart. It hurt to see a man who took a big part in her life a long time ago, when she was young and happy. Now seeing him she couldn't help but feel a little hate. Why did he have to come. Hadn't he and his family caused enough trouble. Shaking her head she barged out the diner and onto the hood of her car.

Slowly Carlisle walked over to her, stroking her hair in comfort, but she shrank back. Silent tears ran through her body. Carlisle was sorry he brought on her pain, sorry that he had even came back here. Bella sniffed, her eyes red and puffy, "Are they here". He didn't have to ask to know who she was talking about.

"No", she looked at him curiously. "Nobody's here, it's just me". Bella wiped her tears away, and looked at the kind man who had once been like a father to her. She had not been close to him but she had still felt a kind of love for him. He was gentle and sweet, sometimes she had envied Esme. She had a great husband and kids that loved her, she didn't feel insecure about herself as Bella had. The thing that confused her is why Esme wasn't here with Carlisle. She was about to ask him when she saw the flash pain in his eyes. She knew that pain, had experienced it before. She let the question go, knowing it would hurt him somehow.

She got off her cars hood and took his cold hand in her warm one. A jolt went through her. Not like a hazy fire when she took Edwards hand, but a slow burning. It was a nice feeling. She felt his hand relax in hers, and brought her eyes to his. They were filled with something she didn't quite understand. Reluctantly she let go his hand, knowing that people were probably watching them now.

"It was nice to see you again Carlisle". Bella was surprised to see that her words were genuine. She had missed this man just as much as she had missed the rest of the family. The pain was a dull ache but it was still there. Just seeing Carlisle made all of the memories come crashing down. "How have you been doing", she inquired. But then she saw the swift flash of pain, and realized her mistake.

"Good", he smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "And you, what have you been doing these past couple of years". Tim's face flashed in her mind along with Abra's. The sound of yelling and banging on the cages she was locked up in filled her ears.

She shook her head as if to get the memories out of her head. She could still smell the scent of smoke and blood. She had to fight her own battles in jail, but didn't always come out clean. There were marks on her body that proved that.

Carlisle saw the conflicting emotions on her face and decided that he had made a mistake by asking such a question. The Bella Swan he had known so long ago, the one who had been sweet and forgiving, was gone. This Bella was broken beyond repair, the marks of her past scarring her body. Just looking into her dull brown eyes made you want to crumple in pain. He brought a cold hand to her face, pleased that she didn't flinch away this time. Sighing she leaned her cheek against it, her face almost seeming at peace. Carlisle kissed her forehead tenderly, "My Bella how much you have changed".

Looking at her tired eyes he wondered, "What have we done"

_Okay so in the first chapter I might have messed up and said that Charlie died but he didn't and is now living with Sue. Thanks__** pEaCe17**__ for informing me. And some people got mixed up and thought that Carlisle married Lauren but he didn't. Lauren left Tyler to marry a rich doctor. Sorry for the confusion, I've been out of it lately. Thanks . Sorry for the sucky chapter, I was in a rush, but the other ones will be better._


	4. Chapter 4

Bella thought over her conversation with Carlisle. Something had happened, she knew that. But what? was the question. Seeing a man she had looked up as a father with a heartbreaking pain in his eyes, brought memories on her. She looked like that when the Cullens had left her. She had lost a family. She wondered if he had also but then shook her head, the Cullen clan always stayed together, nothing could tear them apart.

Sighing she climbed into her bed and turned on her side. A habit she was used to, she put one hand on her side. Long ago a hand would be under hers, and a body behind her. His lips would kiss her neck and their legs would be tangled up together. Closing her eyes, she counted sheep. Charlie had always said that it would lull her asleep. She never believed her, never tried it, but at the moment she was desperate for darkness to take over her. She wanted to get away from the devastating thing everyone called reality.

1 sheep... 2 sheep... 133 sheep, by that time she was asleep. A man with golden locks held her hand, in this memorizing dream. His eyes were a beautiful golden color, that were filled with love. She realized it was Carlisle. Around them there was a garden, something that she had always had wanted but never had time to tend to. A house was behind them, standing white in all its glory. A tinkling laugh brought her attention to a beautiful baby girl whose brow lock fell down to her little shoulders. Two striking blue eyes framed by long lashes were staring into her brown ones, full of laughter and mirth. The child was a mischievous one, and Bella felt her heart tug. She had always had a soft spot for black sheep. Tossing and turning she woke up with a soft smile on her face.

Shaking her head, she looked around her confused. She had a dream but now she couldn't remember a single detail. Taking a deep breath she got out of her bed and walked to the bathroom. Bracing her hands against the sink she look at herself. Her hair was getting a little too long for her taste, she had to get a trim. Turning around she turned on the shower, twisting it so it could come out warm. She stripped off her clothes and stepped into the tub, loving the way the water felt on her body.

Ten minutes later she came out, drying herself with a towel and pinned her hair into a bun. She went into her room picking out a pair of old shorts and a tank top. Looking down in her closet she pulled out some of her worn out converse and headed downstairs. Martha stood at the kitchen making Bella's favorite- french toast. For some reason pancakes never really appealed to her.

Sitting down she picked up the daily newspaper reading that Mrs. Wilson had los her cat, once again, and that Mary Johnson had a sixth kid coming. Could she really get that girl she had always wanted? Rolling her eyes Bella put the newspaper down and ate her food. Thanking Martha she informed her that she would be gone today.

Sliding into her car she started the car and leaned her head against the seat. She would talk to Carlisle today, talk to him and tell him...what? What could they really say to each other? That they both were in pain? Or that she had lost all the important people in her life? Would she scream and holler at him that he and his family had broken her? Nothing made sense to her anymore.

Pushing her foot on the accelerator she sped out of her driveway and into town. She noticed the stares, but chose to ignore them. She was used to people judging her, didn't give a damn anymore.

She found herself driving down to LaPush, and into the driveway of a little cabin. She opened the door and took in a deep breath. This house had a lot of memories, both bad and good. She swiftly walked towards the porch and looked around for the spare key. She found it under a pot of flowers and unlocked the door. Rebecca wouldn't answer if she knocked.

Sighing she threw her keys on the counter and went to the backyard. Rebecca sat in an old rocking chair, her head tilted to the side. Her face was now etched with pain, and her rich black hair was now dull and had streaks of grey. Her eyes were sunken in and surrounded by purple bruises. She looked horrible.

Bella didn't say anything when she stood next to her. She knew Rebecca wouldn't be listening and wouldn't reply. She was in her own little world; the darkness couldn't take over her there. So Bella laid a hand on her arm, and stared at the garden. Rebecca and Paul's wedding was held here. Both radiated with happiness and love. Now they hardly looked at each other.

Paul loved Rebecca with all his heart, and it killed him to leave her, but he had children to think of. After Janis had died everything went down hill and Rebecca hardly acknowledged them. Quinn and Jason now lived with Paul in their new house. The divorce would be official in two months.

Bella understood Rebecca's pain, had experienced it herself, and wished she made a different choice. Rebecca could've been better than her. She had a man and kids who loved her. They were there to protect her. She had a family.

"Your lucky you know", Bella decided to speak. The sun was setting and the wind was blowing. "To have a man like Paul love you, and children like Quinn and Jason care for you. I wish I had that". Rebecca didn't move, speak, or make any sighs of life. But Bella could hear her soft breathes. She was breathing but so dead inside.

Sighing Bella turned around and left the house. There was no hope. Rebecca was gone.

But back in the yard the alive "corpse" leaned her head back and sighed. Tears stung her eyes. "I know".

A/N: I know this chapter is super duper boring but it'll be worth it. So Bella went to jail and came back years later, and we find about her sad past. Carlisle comes back and seems to be hiding something. Paul and Rebecca are getting a divorce, and Bella's trying to save her from losing herself to the "darkness". What will happen next? Will Bella and Carlisle be able to mend each others wounds? Will Edwrad come back to reclaim Bella? And will everyone get their Happily Ever Afters?


End file.
